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It is easy to overlook the value of one’s community, especially with with the busy and complex
nature of our lives. I had the opportunity to reflect and celebrate the concept of community this
past week as we gathered to mourn the passing of someone dear to us. The outpouring of love
and support from so many people from so many diverse walks of life who shared a singular
thread of commonality through this family made the richness of Jewish mourning rituals so
profound. I have regularly heard gentile friends express their wish for shiva and the rituals that
surround it to help them deal with the loss of a loved one. Seeing so many people willing to
perform the mitzvah of nichum aveilim, comforting mourners, reminded me how precious
Judaism is, and what ingenuity went into creating our mourning rituals.

The diversity of people was on display, singularly organized for one purpose, and one purpose
alone: performing a mitzvah that has its roots in the Torah. I have heard stories of gentiles
creating their own form of shiva, based upon Jewish practices, as it provides a framework to
mourn, to let others help you through your grief and loss, and gives you space to cope in a way
that works best for you. The unity of purpose throughout, from before the funeral through shiva,
made me proud not only of our community, but proud to be the Rabbi of a religious civilization
that recognizes the importance of helping one another during our most vulnerable times. There
is a psychological brilliance in shiva that is transcendent. I have regularly heard mourners
express the desire to rush the end of the shiva period, which tells me that it works. By the
conclusion of shiva, so many feel ready to move on to the next chapter in their lives, and how to
do so minus their loved one. They also express their displeasure in the inevitable weight gain
that is also part of shiva.

Some might say that the engagement of so many people meeting those in need is uniquely
Pittsburgh, and while I would agree, it is because the Jewish mourning rituals exist and offer
such a well-constructed and meaningful way to confront loss with grace and sensitivity that I
could just take in all the sights and marvel at the ingenuity. I felt immensely proud to be a Jew,
and at a time when antisemitism has reached tragic lows in the United States, experiencing the
diversity of people taking the time out of their lives to console mourners provided me with an
unexpected uplift, borne out of immense respect for our 4,000-year-old traditions. The hugs, the
reminiscences, the comfort, and yes, the nosh, provided support for a family in need, and a
warm feeling to the visitor who took the time to perform this important mitzvah.

I do not know if people recognize the impact such a loving gesture has on a bereaved family,
but if I could describe gratitude and appreciation, I witnessed it. Mourners are not supposed to
say “thank you”, for the onus is upon each of us to perform nichum aveilim with no apparent
reward in sight. Our sages of old taught us that the reward for performing a mitzvah is the
derived impetus to do more mitzvot. While there is a commandedness upon each of us to
perform mitzvot, I would hope that the satisfaction derived from doing them fuels a lifetime of
doing so. That’s the beauty of Judaism.